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Don't like my attitude? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
Unite against togetherness!
Reality Sucks! I’m Gonna Keep On Dreamin
If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...
No fear! (NAME) is here!
I Don’t Like The Drugs, But The Drugs Like Me
Life's a bitch. Be its pimp
I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts
Save a tree, eat a beaver
By the time you read this, you've already read it
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times
I don't curse, drink and smoke. H*ly shit! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!
Dont steal, the government hates competition
If you hate me, i love you too. It ain't my fault i'm better than you
Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
The higher you are, the farther you fall
FRIENDSHIP
What is a friend? 1 soul in 2 bodies
There are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet
If you tell someone you like people, they can't resist liking you back
He/She who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, who has one enemy will meet him everywhere
Misfortune shows those who are not really friends
Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his
True friendship is a plant of slow growth
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute
Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods
A friend who turns into a enemy has never been a friend
A faithful friend is the medicine of life
Friendship needs no words....
The best personal mirror is the opinion of a friend
Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
Two are better than one
A true friend tells you your faults in private
A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else
True friendship never ends
Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty
FUNNY
You're unique, just like everyone else....
Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
Save a mouse, eat a cat
Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-anus
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns
Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbours ain't!
When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. :-)
The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!
Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke
As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard
An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!
What do an Icebear have after swimming? Snowballs!
LOVE
The shortest word for me is I, the sweetest word for me is LOVE, but the only word for me is YOU
2 good 2 be 4 gotten
Ur hot as fire sharp as glass u break my heart ima kick yo ass!
Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
To the world you are just one person but to one person you may be the world
Is that a gun in ur pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Don't hate the player, hate the game
Love is when u don't want to go to sleep cuz reality is beta than a dream
Do you belive in love at first site, or should I walk by again?
I'm loved by some, hated by many, but wanted by many
*ToUcH Me* *TeAsE Me* *cOmE On BaBY * pLeAsE Me*
Can i borrow you library card because i'd like to check you out!
Kisses spread germs and germs are hated.....so kiss me baby!! I'm vacinated!
Call me anytime, I won't be home
I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
Honk if you love (name), then drive your car into the nearest tree!
I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
Love is blind. I know, because you don't see me
Guys are air for me, and without air I can't live
Aren't you tired? You're walking for hours in my head! OFFENSIVE
Your mama is so fat, when she sings, its over
Recommended for you: "Windows For Dummies"
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode
CATS HAVE NINE LIVES PEOPLE HAVE 1 MESS WITH (YOUR NAME) AND U'LL HAVE NONE!!!
Just because you're stupid doesn't mean I'm lying
Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma
You smell like the splashboard of an Indian urinal during mango season
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
Welcome to loserville. Population: you
It's people like you who give scum a bad name
I've had fun before. This isn't it
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend/girlfriend thinks so
I dream about a monster, about you!
Your village called, their idiot is missing
Girls/Guys are like lava lamps: good to look at, but not very bright
I'd smack you but shit splatters!
It's not that I am anti-social. I just don't like you
Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!
WEIRD
Some people say "shoot" instead of "shit." They can't fool me, man. "Shoot" is "shit" with two o's
There's too much blood in my caffeine system
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
It tastes like burning
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
Its a shame that stupidity isn't painful
I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
Love me ore leave me. Hey! Where's everybody going??
Life is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid
On the road of life, don't forget to stop and eat the roses
A honest person is someone you could play checkers with over the phone
If I am what I eat them I am cheap, quick, and easy
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain
Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn't met me yet
bounce!
